So there we were, all four of us sitting in the taxi, dejected, knackered and suffering the first signs of withdrawl from the mammoth food and drink fest we had just been party to. We four and three other brave souls had embarked on a little weekend break to Edinburgh and since we were only there for the three days it was vital to squeeze in as many quality establishments as is physically and geographically possible. And by Jesus did we give it a valiant effort. We are nothing if not martyrs to the cause.
We started off fairly sedately. No, no, I didn't think you would believe that and I am sorry for insulting your intelligence so. The, ahem, ladies of the party started the morning (6:15am) with teas and water, very sensible you will most probably agree. The lads on the other hand went straight in for the kill and had pints all round. Everybody exercised great restraint on the plane and decided to abstain from the demon drink and wait at least until on terra firma before continuing with the over indulgence that a mini holiday brings with it. The fact that take off and landing were only separated by five minutes or so was possibly a factor in this decision.
On checking in to the hotel our noses were bombarded with the aromas of the delicious full Scottish breakfasts emanating from the restaurant but we're not a bunch of pigs you know, lunch was booked for noon so we decided a bit of caca milis and a steaming mug of coffee would just about tide us over 'til then so we headed to the nearest coffee house and loaded the meagre table with plates of all sorts of delicious concoctions. Blueberry muffins, carrot cake, lemon cupcakes, coconut slices and low fat granary muffin.
Yes, you read it correctly LOW FAT MUFFIN, on holidays!!! Well there's one in every group isn't there, and in this happy bunch the offender is none other than my sister in law. The sense of logic is this: "we are at the first 'meal' of the day with lunch and dinner booked for later and then there are all the bars to be stopped at in between, all of which equals a lot of calories so I'll counteract all of that with a low fat muffin for breakfast". I would rather refer to this as insanity than logic but whatever floats your boat. Anyhoo, she takes one bite of said muffin and then declares in disbelief bordering on shock (honestly) that it is in fact disgusting, well now thers's a surprise, and proceeds to have a little piece of everybody elses cake to make up for it. Now I'm no nutritionist but I'm guessing that there is a false economy locked in there somewhere!!!
So with full belly's and good spirits we headed out for some sight seeing to put in the couple of hours before lunch. I use the term sight seeing quite loosely. Once we were in sight of a landmark we stopped, took a picture or two, looked at our watches and decided "We might as well head down and have a drink before hand". Sure what else was there to be doing?
Now as I have already said, we are not pigs, so lunch was only the two courses all round 'cos we decided we would save the three courses for dinner. Then we headed out to sample some of the local bars, and true to our word we did and wouldn't you know it that only left us with the one hour to get back to the hotel, smarten ourselves up and get to the restaurant for yet more culinary delights.
And so it was that we found ourselves in the drawing room of a very seluuuuubrious country house supping champagne and surveying the menu. There was plenty of "what are you having? Ooooh, yeah that sounds lovely" to be heard during the decision making process before we were seated at a beautiful round table in the most decadent of surroundings. Would you be able for us all? I tell you it was far from gold chandeliers and silver service we were all reared but sure we only love ourselves now and settle for nothing but the best! Short of licking the plates the whole scrumptious lot was devoured and then they presented us with plates of petite fours with our Barry's Gold Blend. Petite fours, be God where would you be getting it. So with our skin stretched dangerously over our heaving tummies we departed our grand surroundings for a fantabulously gorgeous cocktail bar where we cheekily nabbed some very comfy seats in which to quoff champagne and cocktails 'til the wee small hours.
I shall not bore you with any further details as we follow a fairly strict pattern for the following two days which leads us to the rather weary, forlorn bunch that now sit in the taxi wondering is it the taxi that is swaying so gracefully from side to side or is it their now mushy brains sloshing about inside their sculls. So when we had done with the whole airport security pa lava and were sitting waiting on our flight I thought to myself, "God I'd love a nice cup of tea and a bit of the aul' Walkers shortbread right now". But with all the scoffing and quoffing that had gone on there wasn't a minute to pick up a pack of the tartan wrapped biccies to aid the transition back to normality.
A couple of days later when the recovery process was well under way and normal motor functions had returned I decided to whip myself up a batch and as look would have it stumbled across a recipe for chocolate shortbread. Now what could be better than that? Not much says me to myself and the mixing bowl was out in a flash to whip up a batch of these bad boys. To my surprise the result was not a hard, dense biscuit like the shop bought variety but a rather soft biscuit that seems to melt in the mouth, not unlike Rachel Allens chocolate melting moments. Unsure as to whether I liked them or not I spread them with a very thin covering of plain chocolate on one side and sampled some more. The conclusion I came to is that I do like them, rather a lot, and they have that delicious buttery, creamy taste that shortbread should have. But don't take my word for it. Please try them for yourself and decide if you like them or will be sticking to Walker's from now on. Enjoy!
Chocolate ShortbreadMakes 20+
225g cold unsalted butter (diced)
200g plain flour
110g corn flour
110g icing sugar
25g cocoa powder
50g plain chocolate (melted)
1. Preheat the oven to 110°C/gas mark 1/4
2. Place all of the ingredients into the bowl of a food processor
3. Turn on slowly and beat until all of the ingredients are combined
4. Wrap in cling film and chill in the fridge for 1 hour
5. Roll out onto a floured surface and cut into shapes using cookie cutters
6. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake for 90 minutes
7. Allow to cool on a wire rack and then spread thinly with the plain chocolate (or chocolate of your choice)
8. Chill in fridge to set chocolate and then enjoy!
